Dearest Brethren,

Welcome to the lone source of merriment in your otherwise joyless lives.

The following post lists the last known rosters of the Dirty Diamond Social Club, heretofore known as the Legs of Ordinary Gentlemen. You are all of you invited to pick your nine keeper players off of your respective roster, be they hitters or pitchers, regardless of race or sexual preference, and inform your kindhearted commissioner of your decision. Upon hearing word of your choices, I will post those players here, on the DDSC website, along with my commentary/analysis.

More to the point, I will shit upon you.

Bathtub Flotilla

Player
Mike Aviles (KC - 2B,SS)
Ryan Braun (Mil - LF)
Ryan Doumit (Pit - C)
Yunel Escobar (Atl - SS)
Curtis Granderson (NYY - CF)
Chris Iannetta (Col - C)
Garrett Jones (Pit - 1B,LF,RF)
Andrew McCutchen (Pit - CF)
David Murphy (Tex - LF,CF,RF)
Carlos Peña (TB - 1B)
Ian Stewart (Col - 2B,3B)
Troy Tulowitzki (Col - SS)
Chase Utley (Phi - 2B)
Joey Votto (Cin - 1B)


Player
Brett Anderson (Oak - SP)
Mike González (Bal - RP)
Juan Gutiérrez (Ari - RP)
Cole Hamels (Phi - SP)
John Lannan (Was - SP)
Franklin Morales (Col - SP,RP)
Ervin Santana (LAA - SP)
Joakim Soria (KC - RP)
Rafael Soriano (TB - RP)
Jonathan Sánchez (SF - SP)
Robinson Tejeda (KC - SP,RP)
C.J. Wilson (Tex - RP)
Carlos Zambrano (ChC - SP)

The Labradoodles

Player
Rick Ankiel (StL - LF,CF,RF)
Lance Berkman (Hou - 1B)
Orlando Cabrera (Min - SS)
Jack Cust (Oak - LF,RF)
Jermaine Dye (CWS - RF)
Pedro Feliz (Hou - 3B)
Paul Konerko (CWS - 1B)
Adam LaRoche (Atl - 1B)
Hunter Pence (Hou - RF)
Jhonny Peralta (Cle - 3B,SS)
Jorge Posada (NYY - C)
José Reyes (NYM - SS)
Brian Roberts (Bal - 2B)
Nick Swisher (NYY - 1B,LF,CF,RF)
Vernon Wells (Tor - CF)
Ryan Zimmerman (Was - 3B)


Player
Jonathan Broxton (LAD - RP)
Brett Cecil (Tor - SP)
Tommy Hanson (Atl - SP)
Clayton Kershaw (LAD - SP)
Brandon Morrow (Tor - SP,RP)
Ross Ohlendorf (Pit - SP,RP)
Jonathan Papelbon (Bos - RP)
Wandy Rodríguez (Hou - SP)
B.J. Ryan (ChC - RP)
CC Sabathia (NYY - SP)

Max Power (Part II)

Player
Elvis Andrus (Tex - SS)
Michael Bourn (Hou - CF)
Jay Bruce (Cin - LF,CF,RF)
Chris Davis (Tex - 1B,3B)
Dexter Fowler (Col - CF)
Jeff Francoeur (NYM - RF)
Aaron Hill (Tor - 2B)
Adam Lind (Tor - LF)
Evan Longoria (TB - 3B)
Manny Ramírez (LAD - LF)
Álex Rodríguez (NYY - 3B)
Pablo Sandoval (SF - C,1B,3B)
Matt Wieters (Bal - C)


Player
Brian Duensing (Min - SP,RP)
Doug Fister (Sea - SP,RP)
Brian Fuentes (LAA - RP)
Roy Halladay (Phi - SP)
Derek Holland (Tex - SP,RP)
Ubaldo Jiménez (Col - SP)
Tim Lincecum (SF - SP)
Brad Penny (StL - SP)
Rick Porcello (Det - SP,RP)
David Price (TB - SP)
Chris Volstad (Fla - SP)
Brian Wilson (SF - RP)
Kerry Wood (Cle - RP)

Unprotected Robertos

Player
Hank Blalock (Tex - 1B,3B)
Milton Bradley (Sea - RF)
Andre Ethier (LAD - LF,RF)
Vladimir Guerrero (LAA - RF)
Ryan Howard (Phi - 1B)
Aubrey Huff (Det - 1B,3B)
Howie Kendrick (LAA - 2B)
Ian Kinsler (Tex - 2B)
Nate McLouth (Atl - CF)
David Ortiz (Bos - 1B)
Iván Rodríguez (Was - C)
Jayson Werth (Phi - LF,CF,RF)
Michael Young (Tex - 3B,SS)


Player
Bronson Arroyo (Cin - SP)
Neftali Feliz (Tex - SP,RP)
Dan Haren (Ari - SP)
J.P. Howell (TB - RP)
Bobby Jenks (CWS - RP)
Scott Kazmir (LAA - SP)
Hiroki Kuroda (LAD - SP)
Francisco Liriano (Min - SP,RP)
Pedro Martínez (Phi - SP)
George Sherrill (LAD - RP)
Huston Street (Col - RP)
Barry Zito (SF - SP)

Gammon's Nutsack

Player
Nelson Cruz (Tex - RF)
Prince Fielder (Mil - 1B)
Chipper Jones (Atl - 3B)
Jason Kubel (Min - LF,RF)
Bengie Molina (SF - C)
Miguel Montero (Ari - C)
Kendry Morales (LAA - 1B,RF)
Brandon Phillips (Cin - 2B)
Hanley Ramírez (Fla - SS)
Álex Ríos (CWS - CF,RF)
Shane Victorino (Phi - CF)
Josh Willingham (Was - LF,RF)


Player
Jeremy Affeldt (SF - RP)
Matt Cain (SF - SP)
Francisco Cordero (Cin - RP)
Jorge De La Rosa (Col - SP,RP)
Rich Harden (Tex - SP)
Jair Jurrjens (Atl - SP)
Cliff Lee (Sea - SP)
Mike MacDougal (Was - RP)
Ryan Madson (Phi - RP)
Jason Marquis (Was - SP)
Carlos Mármol (ChC - RP)
Max Scherzer (Det - SP,RP)
Matt Thornton (CWS - RP)

WINKIE

Player
Russell Branyan (Sea - 1B,3B)
Melky Cabrera (Atl - LF,CF,RF)
Derek Jeter (NYY - SS)
Matt Kemp (LAD - CF,RF)
Joe Mauer (Min - C)
Scott Rolen (Cin - 3B)
Skip Schumaker (StL - 2B,LF,CF,RF)
Grady Sizemore (Cle - CF)
Alfonso Soriano (ChC - LF)
Kurt Suzuki (Oak - C)
Freddy Sánchez (SF - 2B)
Mark Teahen (CWS - 1B,3B,LF,RF)


Player
Alfredo Aceves (NYY - SP,RP)
Andrew Bailey (Oak - RP)
Chad Billingsley (LAD - SP)
John Danks (CWS - SP)
Zach Duke (Pit - SP)
Félix Hernández (Sea - SP)
Josh Johnson (Fla - SP)
Matt Lindstrom (Hou - RP)
Hideki Okajima (Bos - RP)
Matt Palmer (LAA - SP,RP)
Mike Pelfrey (NYM - SP)
Joel Piñeiro (StL - SP)
Ricky Romero (Tor - SP)
Chris Young (SD - SP)

Dykstra's Car Wash

Player
Billy Butler (KC - 1B)
Michael Cuddyer (Min - 1B,RF)
Jacoby Ellsbury (Bos - LF,CF,RF)
Matt Holliday (StL - LF)
Orlando Hudson (LAD - 2B)
Derrek Lee (ChC - 1B)
Mike Lowell (Bos - 3B)
Ryan Ludwick (StL - LF,CF,RF)
Felipe López (Mil - 2B,3B,SS,LF)
Mike Napoli (LAA - C)
Dustin Pedroia (Bos - 2B)
A.J. Pierzynski (CWS - C)
Luke Scott (Bal - 1B,LF)
Miguel Tejada (Hou - SS)


Player
David Aardsma (Sea - RP)
Daniel Bard (Bos - RP)
Josh Beckett (Bos - SP)
Matt Garza (TB - SP)
Tommy Hunter (Tex - SP)
Hong-Chih Kuo (LAD - SP,RP)
Joe Nathan (Min - RP)
Darren Oliver (Tex - RP)
Ramón Ramírez (Bos - RP)
Johan Santana (NYM - SP)
Justin Verlander (Det - SP)
Michael Wuertz (Oak - RP)

Athletic Supporters

Player
Clint Barmes (Col - 2B,3B,SS)
Jason Bay (NYM - LF)
Jorge Cantú (Fla - 1B,3B)
Shin-Soo Choo (Cle - LF,RF)
J.D. Drew (Bos - RF)
Josh Hamilton (Tex - CF,RF)
Todd Helton (Col - 1B)
Nick Markakis (Bal - RF)
Víctor Martínez (Bos - C,1B)
Yadier Molina (StL - C)
Plácido Polanco (Phi - 2B)
Marco Scutaro (Bos - 2B,3B,SS)
B.J. Upton (TB - CF)


Player
Mark Buehrle (CWS - SP)
Joba Chamberlain (NYY - SP,RP)
Todd Coffey (Mil - RP)
Ryan Franklin (StL - RP)
J.A. Happ (Phi - SP,RP)
Trevor Hoffman (Mil - RP)
John Lackey (Bos - SP)
Kevin Millwood (Bal - SP)
Arthur Rhodes (Cin - RP)
Mariano Rivera (NYY - RP)
Adam Wainwright (StL - SP)
Jered Weaver (LAA - SP)

Knoblauch's Chokers

Player
Robinson Canó (NYY - 2B)
Carl Crawford (TB - LF)
Johnny Damon (NYY - LF,CF)
Matt Diaz (Atl - LF,RF)
Carlos Guillén (Det - 1B,3B,LF)
Justin Morneau (Min - 1B)
Martín Prado (Atl - 1B,2B,3B)
Alexei Ramírez (CWS - 2B,SS,CF)
Yorvit Torrealba (Col - C)
Justin Upton (Ari - RF)
David Wright (NYM - 3B)
Ben Zobrist (TB - 2B,SS,LF,CF,RF)


Player
Heath Bell (SD - RP)
Clay Buchholz (Bos - SP)
A.J. Burnett (NYY - SP)
Chris Carpenter (StL - SP)
Zack Greinke (KC - SP)
Matt Guerrier (Min - RP)
LaTroy Hawkins (Mil - RP)
Phil Hughes (NYY - SP,RP)
Jon Lester (Bos - SP)
Ricky Nolasco (Fla - SP)
Leo Núñez (Fla - RP)
Jake Peavy (CWS - SP)
José Valverde (Hou - RP)

Codpiece

Player
Rod Barajas (Tor - C)
Jason Bartlett (TB - SS)
Carlos Beltrán (NYM - CF)
Casey Blake (LAD - 1B,3B)
Alberto Callaspo (KC - 2B,3B,SS)
Rajai Davis (Oak - CF)
Adam Dunn (Was - 1B,LF,RF)
Adrián González (SD - 1B)
Carlos Lee (Hou - LF)
Albert Pujols (StL - 1B)
Kevin Youkilis (Bos - 1B,3B)


Player
Joe Blanton (Phi - SP)
Ryan Dempster (ChC - SP)
Mark DiFelice (Mil - RP)
Jason Frasor (Tor - RP)
Yovani Gallardo (Mil - SP)
Chad Gaudin (NYY - SP,RP)
Ángel Guzmán (ChC - RP)
Ted Lilly (ChC - SP)
Dan Meyer (Fla - SP,RP)
Jeff Niemann (TB - SP,RP)
Chad Qualls (Ari - RP)
Scott Richmond (Tor - SP)
Fernando Rodney (LAA - RP)
Javier Vázquez (NYY - SP)
Dan Wheeler (TB - RP)
Randy Wolf (Mil - SP)

Gallardos

Player
Bobby Abreu (LAA - LF,RF)
Gordon Beckham (CWS - 3B,SS)
Asdrubal Cabrera (Cle - 2B,SS)
Miguel Cabrera (Det - 1B,3B)
Rafael Furcal (LAD - SS)
Alex Gordon (KC - 3B)
Torii Hunter (LAA - CF)
Adam Kennedy (Oak - 2B,3B,RF)
Matt LaPorta (Cle - 1B,LF,RF)
James Loney (LAD - 1B)
Cameron Maybin (Fla - CF)
Brian McCann (Atl - C)
Carlos Quentin (CWS - LF)
Aramis Ramírez (ChC - 3B)
Colby Rasmus (StL - CF,RF)
Taylor Teagarden (Tex - C)
Dan Uggla (Fla - 2B)


Player
Ronald Belisario (LAD - RP)
José Contreras (Col - SP,RP)
Johnny Cueto (Cin - SP)
Frank Francisco (Tex - RP)
Kevin Gregg (ChC - RP)
Derek Lowe (Atl - SP)
Daisuke Matsuzaka (Bos - SP)
Roy Oswalt (Hou - SP)
Francisco Rodríguez (NYM - RP)
James Shields (TB - SP)
Brad Ziegler (Oak - RP)

Gammons Gammons

Player
Chris Coghlan (Fla - 2B,LF)
Mark DeRosa (SF - 1B,2B,3B,LF,RF)
Chone Figgins (Sea - 2B,3B)
Raúl Ibañez (Phi - LF)
Brandon Inge (Det - C,3B,CF)
José López (Sea - 1B,2B)
Hideki Matsui (LAA - LF)
Mark Reynolds (Ari - 1B,3B)
Jimmy Rollins (Phi - SS)
Denard Span (Min - LF,CF,RF)
Ichiro Suzuki (Sea - CF,RF)
Mark Teixeira (NYY - 1B)
Ryan Theriot (ChC - SS)


Player
Scott Baker (Min - SP)
Brian Bannister (KC - SP)
Matt Capps (Was - RP)
Scott Feldman (Tex - SP)
Tim Hudson (Atl - SP)
Edwin Jackson (Ari - SP)
Brad Lidge (Phi - RP)
Andy Pettitte (NYY - SP)
Ramon Troncoso (LAD - RP)
Edinson Vólquez (Cin - SP)
Tim Wakefield (Bos - SP)
Jarrod Washburn (Det - SP)
Randy Wells (ChC - SP,RP)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Predicted Finish (Pre-Draft)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Flotilla Casts Off

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Smell His Finger

Behold These, The Slimmest of Pickings